Tuesday, November 16, 2010

A reminder to the girls: God loves you, find your identity in him

I made her...she is different. She is unique.
With love I formed her in her mother's womb.
I fashioned her with great joy.
I remember with great pleasure the day I created her.

I love her smile. I love her ways. I love to hear her laugh
And the silly things she says and does.
She brings me great pleasure. This is how I made her.

I made her pretty and not beautiful.
I wanted her to search out her heart and learn that
it would be ME in her that would make her beautiful...
And it would be Me that would draw others to her.

I made her in such a way that she would need me.

I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be...
Only because I need for her to learn and depend on Me.
I know her heart. I know that if I had not made her like this,
She would go her own chosen way
And forget Me...her Creator.

Because I love her, I have seen her broken heart...
and the tears she cried alone.
I have cried with her and had a broken heart too.

Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone...
Only because she would not hold my hand.
So many lessons she's learned the hard way
because she would not listen to My voice.

So many times I have sat back and sadly
watched her go her merry way alone...
Only to watch her return to my arms,
sad and broken.

And now she is Mine again.
I made her, and I bought her...
Because I love her.

I have to reshape and remold her
To renew her to what I planned for her to be
It has not been easy for her or for Me.

I want her to be conformed to My image.
This high goal I have set for her...

Because I love her.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Verse to Commit to memory

To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.
-Jude 1:24-25

Lessons of Love and Service at Gordon

In his book The Four Loves C.S. Lewis says, “There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable”. After our unit on love I am convinced that there is a valid connection between love and living out that love through service. Loving those around you is about investing in them by any means possible. Our investment in this case is our time. Time is an investment that shows someone that you truly care. You are willing to set aside your activities and take a break in your busy schedule to do something that is for their benefit and not your own. Although I believe that somewhere along the line serving others becomes a greater benefit to the servant than to the one who is being served. Service teaches us to look beyond ourselves and beyond our sheltered lives to a community and world of people who are hurting and for whom we have the opportunity to serve as reflections of Christ’s love for them. That type of learning can’t be done in the classroom and that is why I feel it is an important aspect of our education at Gordon.

We read 1 Corinthians 13 in our Great Conversation class and some of the attributes that stood out to me is that love is supposed to be patient and kind and is not supposed to be arrogant. Those are all things that are so crucial when it comes to service and our service learning projects give us the chance to live out those aspects of love. If we look to a section earlier in the chapter we see even more about the importance of love in our actions. In verse 3 it says, “ If I give away all I have…but have not love, I gain nothing.” Our attitude towards our service should not be centered around the class or our grade but around love because if love is not our aim then none of what we do is truly worthwhile.

There are so many other reasons to participate in service that reach far beyond it being an investment in humanity or an expression of love, although those are both wonderful reasons to serve. I would say that the most important reason to serve is to become more like Christ. Our Lord humbled himself and came to Earth as a servant to his people to redeem them, minister to them, love them and serve them. Our Savior was the ultimate example of servant hood. In John chapter 13 we see the story of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. In this day it was the servants who were to wash the feet of their masters and their guests. This was not a pleasant or enjoyable task. You have to understand that the disciples and Jesus walked everywhere and all wore sandals, their feet at the end of their journey would have been covered in dust and dirt and yet there our Lord knelt providing us with the perfect guide for selflessness. He also tells us that in Matthew 25:40 that whatever we do for the least of our brothers and sisters we have done for him.

Providing an opportunity to teach love in a personal way that cannot be taught in the classroom and that extends to the people outside of our sheltered Gordon community is what our service-learning component is all about. It gives us the opportunity to be examples of Christ to those who don’t see or experience that type of love and service everyday. And I should hope that along the way each of us discovers the joy that can be found in the process of serving others.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

God calls us to do hard things.....

This is a list that my small group and I came up with at Bible study a few years ago when we were talking about being in the world and not of it and how the things that it takes to be different are really really hard sometimes. Its definitely a challenge to me. Since today is the day of prayer I thought it would be a good day to put out a challenge to myself and to all of you to do hard things!

1. happiness is easy. joy is hard
2. going is easy. staying is hard
3. gossip is easy. holding your tongue is hard.
4. immodesty is easy. modesty is hard.
5. lies are easy. honesty is hard.
6. silence is easy. speaking up is hard
7. judgment is easy. acceptance is hard.
8. frustration is easy. letting it go is hard
9. talking is easy. praying is hard.
10.watching a movie is easy. reading your Bible is hard.
11.spending is easy. tithing is hard
12.ignoring is easy. overcoming is hard.
13.friendship is easy. love is hard
14.distraction is easy. focus is hard.
15.stubborness is easy. compromise is hard.
16.secrecy is easy. confession is hard
17.pride is easy. humility is hard
18.amazement is easy. praise is hard.
19.jealousy is easy. gratefulness is hard.
20. complaining is easy. thankfulness is hard
21. exclusion is easy. inclusion is hard.
22. hanging out is easy. having fellowship is hard.
23. going with the flow is easy. having a higher standard is hard.
24. making a decision is easy, but making a good decision is hard.
25. acting is easy. living it out is hard.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Suffering Unit: The Great Conversation

"A religious man is a person who holds God and man in one thought at one time, at all times, who suffers harm done to others, whose greatest passion is compassion, whose greatest strength is love and defiance of despair."

I love this quote. I think that it puts quite simply the essence of what it means to be a follower of Christ. The phrase about holding God and man in one thought reminds me to treat the people around me in a way that reflects the fact that I am aiming to live for Christ, so my actions towards others should be lived out in regards to Christ and my faith. I feel that so often we get caught up in our own struggles and trials that we neglect to suffer along with others and if we would just make ourselves vulnerable to the pain all around us then we would begin to have a heart that is broken for others in much of the same way that Christs heart is broken for us. There's a line in a song that says "break my heart for what breaks yours, everything I am for your kingdoms cause..." I feel like we just need to step back and look at the circumstances of those around us and our own circumstances through Christs eyes. Finally, in the last lines he says that our greatest strength is in love and defiance of despair. Do we love those around us as Christ has loved us? Do I Defy despair? Sometimes maybe, but does that defiance break me enough to change me? I wish that I could say it did. Its my prayer that God would really open my eyes and help me see the things that should bother me, the things that should break my heart and the situations in which i need to be love to people who are hurting.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Psalm 8:3-6

When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.

You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:

Monday, August 30, 2010

A Day of Renewal

For me today truly was a day of renewal. God reminded me of so many wonderful things today, I guess I'll start with this morning around 3:30 am. I couldnt sleep so I got up to spend some time in the word. To be honest I must have been too tired to remember what was running through my mind but I ended up writing this on one of my notepads:
If as Christians our life is centered around God and God is love then in essence our lives center around love. Our speech and our actions should reflect love in the way that God intends it to be portrayed. Our priorities are often times the best way to examine what or whom we love or hold in the highest regard. Is God in that number one spot each day?
I may have been to exhausted to remember those thoughts this morning but what a challenge to myself. I need to keep God first and I need to make sure that Im setting aside that personal time to spend with him because i know that relationships dont grow unless you spend time together.

Tonight some of the students here got together for "Worship Under The Stars" my friends did a great job of putting it together. I've only known them all for 10 days some of them not even that long but i am so blessed to have them. What a wonderful gift to have friends that love God with their lives an in all they do. I was amazed and overjoyed at the number of students that showed up for the time of worship and prayer. I am so thankful that God led me to Gordon College. I can't wait to see what else he has in store.

God Bless you guys, Keep shining Gods light!

"Unanswered" Prayer

Yesterday, on a few different occasions the subject came up of "unanswered prayer". The Sermon that I heard asked why some peoples prayers get answered time and time again while others of us pray and God seems to "change the channel". As a believer I dont think that there really is such a thing as an unanswered prayer, now before you start thinking of all those times that what you prayed for didnt happen, think about this: God can say no. I think that often times we feel as though God doesn't answer our prayers because he doesn't answer them the way we want or expect. When it comes down to it Gods ways are higher than our ways and he has a reason for everything in this life. Take a second to think about this quote from Beth Moore "Trusting God doesn't mean you expect him to do what you ask it means trusting him to do whats best". Its very important as believers to realize that God always answers our prayers and also to remember that God knows best and if we're praying in accordance with his will he'll grant our request but as any good father would if we ask for something that isn't in our best interest he may not give us what we think we want. So I'll leave you all with a verse:

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (New International Version) Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Dread....and Excitement!

Yes its true. I am dreading saying goodbye to my friends, my family and my amazing boyfriend. I keep reminding myself that its not 4 years all at once that I'll be away. Its truly only 4 months away then 1 month home. Then 4 months away then 3 months home. Then repeat the process 4 times. I know I'll survive and I know that God has amazing things in store for me out there. As the dread and apprehension increase so does my excitement to experience something new. I've already started getting to know so many amazing people that will be attending Gordon with me in the fall and i know that Im going to get along with them all splendidly. In all of this God knows my heart, my emotions, my setbacks and my hopes. The things I'll long for, the things I'll miss, The people my heart will ache to see. The new things that will make me smile, laugh, the new friends I'll make, the wonderful experiences I'll have and the spiritual growth i'll experience there in a thriving community of believers. So now at the end of my rambling I'll simply say that I know Gods in control, keep living for him :) God bless you!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Crossing the Finish Line

One day. Thats all that I have left in my time at Jefferson High School. And it feels GREAT! I am so ready to be done! Im starting a new adventure and I'm so excited to see what God has in store for me! Theres so much to do though with finals, grad parties, graduation, baccalaureate, and honors night. The verse that God's been bringing to mind lately is Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." So my dear friends in all the business of wrapping up the school year take it one day at a time and remember that if its not worth praying about then its not worth worrying about :)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A huge blessing in a great opportunity

I've been asked to read and talk about a Bible verse at baccalaureate for our senior class. So what does that mean for me? It means I have maybe a minute to choose a verse that will hopefully resonate in the hearts of my fellow classmates and I have the chance to say something that will hopefully stick with them. So where to begin? There are so many verses, so many things to be said. We're leaving what we've known for almost our entire lives and setting off on an adventure that will lead us into the rest of our lives here on Earth and that is something truly exciting! But this transition in our lives also means that we will be facing all sorts of new struggles along the way. I know that whatever verse I choose Gods word will speak for itself, but if any of you have any suggestions for me I'd love to hear them. Right now Im leaning towards using Jeremiah 29:11-13...

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mothers Day in a whole new way

Wierd. Why is it that this year as I listened to the mothers day sermon, I was not only grateful for the blessing of a wonderful mother but was struck by the idea of the kind of mom i want to be when i have family of my own? I started thinking about the little things that I want to do with my kids to hopefully bring them closer to Christ. I want to be someone they can turn to with their struggles as well as their joys. Someone who listens to them, protects them, and loves them. Not overprotective but guarding, holding their best interests at heart. Its an odd thought to be struck by in a way but in the words of Mack I'm "such a girl" so maybe its not to weird. So what traditions do i want to have with my kids?

1. Blessings before bed
My mom and step dad always blessed me before i went to sleep and they still do to this day. Its one of the things i remember most. Praying for the little things that i asked them to and the things that were coming up in my life. I love that they care enough to do that each night.

2. Praying before each meal
Pretty self explanatory on this one. Pray before you eat. Thank God for his provisions and his blessings.

3. Eating meals together on a regular basis
Its a chance to catch up and find out about each others day. If you miss a day or two a week for different activities or things its not the end of the world but that time together is very important to me with my family and when i have a family of my own i want that time with them as well.

4. Daily Devotionals
When we were younger my parents always did this devotional book with us each night. It would have a story, a bible passage, and then some discussion questions. I feel like that really helped me grow in my faith. Learning the basics of applying my faith in my life with my parents by my side was a great thing for me. As we got older we started doing personal devotional books and Bibles by the Bedside and now we spend our own time in the word each night.

5. An Open Home
I want to have a house that my kids feel comfortable inviting their friends too, not to focus on material things but i want them to have fun inviting their friends over. Theres always one or two of your friends that seem to have everyone over all the time and i want my house to be that one. There's a lot of things out there that i want my kids to stay away from and if they and their friends have a house they have fun at then maybe it will help keep them out of trouble. I suppose in a way is so i can monitor what they do as well haha.

6. Love
One of the greatest things that my parents did to encourage my faith was letting me watch the way they treated each other. They loved each other they treated each other and us in a Christ-like manner and it was such a shining example to me and i want to be that to my children as well.

I guess this all fits into my dream for the future. I am so blessed to have the wonderful mother I do, I appreciate all that she does and has done for me. I hope that one day I'll be as good of a mother to my kids as she has been to me.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Prayer in School

Yup thats right. You can pray in school. I was always so worried to ask people if I could pray with them. I thought they'd be offended or just flat out refuse, we're not all that open to things like that here in America. But the stories of some friends of mine after they returned from Haiti really encouraged me to step out a little bit. Why can't I at least offer to pray with them right on the spot? Why do I always offer up a simple "I'll be praying for you"? So I decided that if I had an urge to pray for someone today that I would ask them if i could pray for them right then and there.... Today I prayed with two different people. Its a start. And ya know what? Neither of them seemed to think that was wierd or out of line and they actually thanked me. So Im just gonna throw a challenge out there for you guys. Pray with someone. Out loud. On the spot.

Have a blessed day!

Monday, May 3, 2010

God Help Me

I've come to realize that we are going to encounter things in life that we dont understand. They'll be hard, they'll make us cry and they may very well have us asking why. I had it happen today with one of my very close friends. He means so much to me and i've watched the change in him.... I wont go in to details but by doing the right thing, and the thing that i believe is best for him in the long run i made him very upset with me. He said he'll never talk to me again. I really hope thats not the case but... even if it is I know that God brought him into my life for a reason and I hope that one day he'll realize that I did it because i cared and not to get him in trouble. God never promised us that life would be easy in fact i can assure you that you'll face adversity but he does promise to be with us every step of the way. My thoughts and prayers are with my friend and I hope that one day he'll forgive me and that he'll have the strength and courage to give God control of his life.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you; declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future."

Monday, April 26, 2010

A joyful Heart

As i slid into the church pew on sunday i was a little bit distracted and ready to sit out a sermon that i knew would be good, but i still wasn't much in the right mind or rather "heart"set. And then something new, a woman with a walker sat down in the pew in front of us. Little did i know that she was going to teach me an even bigger lesson than the sermon that day. As the worship music started the woman in front of us began to dance, lift her hands, and sway side to side. She didnt care what anyone thought. I looked at her and what i saw in her face caught be off guard. Authentic, Genuine Joy. She was praising God and she didnt care what anyone thought. I glanced around and i saw the smirks on the face of some of the kids sitting in the pew across from us. They didnt get it they didnt see what i saw but it didnt matter. I was transfixed on her. I realized that I wanted to be consumed in the same way she was. I watched her throughout the rest of the service, maybe i should have been paying closer attention to the sermon but i couldn't help it. Everytime the pastor said Jesus or God her face lit up she amened (idk if thats a word) in agreement with the sermon and during the video that played during communion she sang along even though no one else was. It wasn't about attention, in fact it was like for her no one else existed. This was about her praising God. Maybe for me it isnt dancing or speaking outloud my agreement to a sermon but i want to have that passion, i want to burn when i hear the name of Jesus Christ. So thats my prayer, to have a heart that desires God and his will more than anything in life. I hope you guys feel the same way, God bless you!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Today God confirmed something for me. I love working with youth. Especially Junior High and Im sure that I'll enjoy Senior High more once Im out of it. Some days I feel like nothing I do really makes a difference but getting up today and watching my peers go up and share their stories and their experiences, watching the reactions of some of the kids and just looking around and knowing some of the things that those Junior High students are dealing with... Man I can't even explain what came over me. I really feel like Im being called into Youth Ministry but it can be so discouraging when you feel like you're not having impact but God gave me a glimpse of something today. And i guess the way i'd explain it is hope. Hope that our society, our teens, and the problems they face aren't too far gone, that those who are hurting and those who stray down the wrong path really need someone to love them and show them that there is another way and just be a friend. I can't even believe some of the things that they have to deal with in SEVENTH grade! Its crazy! But wow to watch the people who do step up and just dont let that hold them back astounds me. I had so many of those kids come up to me or talk to me on facebook about the stories that were shared and the biggest thing that came up seemed to be this amazing song that my friend Sam wrote. It really challenged them and made them consider the way they were treating their peers.. and those are there words not mine. I am proud of all the groups that came in and listened and Im so thankful for the other highschoolers i was with and for the courage they have in sharing some really personal things and for the examples that they are to those kids and to me! I guess Im kind of rambling but this is just me trying to put that small feeling that swept over me into words...
Then I got to speak at the 7th grade FCA.... There were kids sitting on the floor! They have the courage to leave there friends once a week, mix up who there hanging out with, and do something that in our society and in middle school culture isn't really very popular and whether you see it or not that is a hard thing to do.. But I'll tell ya something. I have never been so proud of a group of kids in my life. I remember how hard it was in 7th grade to do things even a little bit differently and I am so glad that these are the kids that are soon gonna be leaders and actually already are in their school and soon they'll move on to Jefferson and be leaders there. They are such strong, bold examples of Christ and i know that God is gonna use them in big ways!

Thursday, April 15, 2010


Science is absolutely my least favorite subject by far. I mean after we've talked about molecules and how they bond then we find out we have to write a nearly two page paper on, yup you guessed it, water of all things. But ya know what as much as i resented writing that paper on the unique properties of water it really made me think. We had to focus on 6 different characteristics of water and most of those unique properties don't make sense scientifically but ya know what blows my mind? If the properties of water were any different than they were life as we know it here on Earth would cease to exist. Suddenly that little lightbulb above my head went off, okay just kidding, there was no lightbulb but still i realized that we serve an almighty God and a glorious Creator who specifically designed every aspect of our world to support his creation. How amazing is that to think about? All those little things that make life possible, if any one of them was different we wouldn't be able to survive but God worked out all those tiny little details specifically. Pretty cool huh?

Monday, April 5, 2010

God's Greatest Gift

Yesterday was Easter and it never ceases to amaze me that God actually loved us enough to send his only son, perfect and blameless, to die for us on the cross. The son of God died a criminals death to cover over our sins. Death by crucifixion was a very painful death. After the beatings and being whipped and mocked, while Christ hung upon the cross he experienced the worst consequence of our sin. Separation from a perfect God. Bearing all the sins, and the shame of those sins, from everyone who ever had and ever would exist and then having his father turn away from him.... that i can't even imagine. A holy, pure son who had always known God and been one with him and reigned in heaven alongside him suddenly not having that and knowing that he was at that very moment he was separated from God just as we would have been for all eternity had he not taken that from us... That is truly unconditional love and i can't even begin to fathom it. I hope that you all had a blessed Easter. Don't forget to keep in mind the great price that Jesus Christ payed for us to spend eternity in heaven with him.

Thursday, April 1, 2010


Im in a facebook group called Protect Marriage: One Man and One Woman but they posted something today saying that it was impossible to be a christian and then be gay, but don't we all stray and fall into sin? Im not condoning it at all, Im just saying that we need to love people where they are and putting them down is not gonna draw them back to Christ. This is what I said. Feel free to agree or disagree or correct me in what I've said but as far as Im concerned the bottom line is sin is sin, Christ died for our sins and is willing to forgive us if we repent. If they've come to Christ and then turn from him for a period I dont believe that they are no longer Christians i just believe that they need to repent of their sin and turn back to Christ. Granted I think that the way Christians handle is different then how an unbeliever handles it. I mean Christians can still be tempted or tricked into thinking that they're born that way and they can even fall into that temptation but they will be ashamed of it and feel guilty and repent but it doesnt mean they wont commit that sin. Unbelievers however will not feel shame at their behavior and will stand by the worlds view and will not see any need to turn from that type of a lifestyle. I'd say the difference is lifestyle choice vs temporary sin followed by repentance. Here's what I posted:

1. God loves them 2. He hates the sin 3. Quite a few of the comments that had been posted above blatantly disregarded commands in the Bible to love, not judge, and to consider your own sin before pointing fingers. 4. Sin is sin its ignorant to think that we can tell a white lie here and there or slip up and use a bad word but still be a believer because of the amazing thing that Jesus Christ did for us on the cross and then turn around and say that someone who is commiting a different sin can not be a christian. 5. Im NOT saying it's right, I joined that group because i believe its wrong I am simply saying that we have to guard what we say and make sure that we have the right motives when you say that you're supposed to keep your brothers and sisters in Christ in line are you saying that out of love or are you saying it because you view this sin as worse than any of your own? 6. I hope you all have a blessed Easter and realize that this is the time of year that shows exactly how much God was willing to sacrafice for his children to cover over a great multitude of sins so that we could be with him even though we all sin.

Can we start a discussion on this? I'd like some feedback, what do you guys think?

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Check this out

We watched "How Great Is Our God" tonight and I am absolutely amazed by what the speaker talked about. Take a look at the picture above and think about just how crazy cool our God is!

Laminin is a protein that holds our cells together. Without laminin, our bodies would not function. The crazy thing is that under a microscope laminin looks like a cross, how insane is that?! I mean seriously, How amazing is it that just like this little cross holds us together just like the cross of Christ holds us to him.

Colossians 1:15-20 (New International Version) He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him,and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

He truly is everything to me

Easter's coming up soon. Lately i've hit a lot of rough times. I'm busy, Im tired, Im stressed, Im worn down, I've had some hard times with friends, my dad had open heart surgery and i know that God is always there and that in him I can find rest but its still really hard sometimes. In the midst of all of it though I would have moments where right when i reached that point where I wasn't sure if I could handle one more thing I felt this peace rush over me, a calm that I can't describe and felt God reminding me calmly that in that he was there for me, that everything had a purpsose even if i couldn't see it but mostly that he loves me more than i could ever ask or imagine. Enough to send his son to Earth for me. What a reminder! I mean when's the last time you really thought about that? The Almighty, Creator of the universe, our Savior and Lord loves us more than we could ever fathom and he calls us his children and his friends. We can't even comprehend that kind of love..... In Alexandria, where I live, we have this thing called the Passion Drama put on by a local church where you walk through scenes of Jesus' life. It's amazing to think about all that Christ went through for us, as many times as we deny him, and disobey him, and turn our backs on him, he forgives us anyways and never for a second does he ever stop loving us. That is truly unconditional love. No one could ever even come close to loving us the way that God does. So I hope that you all have a blessed Easter. I've posted some lyrics below, let it be a reminder and an encouragement to share and to realize that the Easter story isn't just a story, It is the ultimate demonstration of God's love for us.

I grew up in sunday school
I memorized the Golden rule
And how Jesus came to set the sinner free
I know the
story inside out
I can tell you all about
The path that led Him up to Calvary
But ask me why He loves me
And I don't know what to say
But i'll never be the same
Because he changed my life when He became...

Everything to me
He's more than a
more than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything, everything to me

We're living in uncertain times
And more and more I find that i'm aware
Of just how fragile life can be
I want to tell the world I found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see
Now everyday I'm praying
Just to give my heart away
I want live for Jesus
So that someone else might see that he is...

Everything to me
He's more than a story
more than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything
And looking back over my life at the end
I'll go to meet you saying you've been...

You're everything to me
You're more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You're everything to me
You're more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You're the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
You're everything to me
Lord, you're everything to me

Everything to Me by: Avalon

Monday, March 29, 2010


Today I was looking through the sites I've saved in my favorites and i came across the lifehouse, everything skit. It is sooo powerful. Heres a link:

When is the last time you guys really thought about God's gift to us? He loved us so much, despite all the wrong, messed up, sinful things we do, that he sent his only son to die for us. Can you even fathom that kind of a true, unconditional love? I can't even begin to comprehend how much God loves us. I hope that the skit touched your heart, i know that no matter how many times I watch it It will always make me stop and stand in awe of my amazing God and the unconditional love that he has for his children.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

You're beautiful

How is a girl ever supposed to live up to the worlds expectations? I sat in a room today and listened to my aunts tell me how i needed to lose twenty pounds and change my hair and wear more makeup and change the way i dress and so on and so on.... thirty minutes later i was feeling pretty down. And i started to think about how all of what they were saying was an exact echo of the things that society has been whispering in girls ears as we've grown up. A girl's beauty should be measured from the inside out. Our God, our Creator, made us exactly the way he intended for us to be and no one can tell us that we need to be any different. Proverbs 31:30 says that "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." In first Samuel 16:7 it says that "man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart" Girls you are absolutely beautiful! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise because they don't have any right to. The God of the universe created you in his image and you are gorgeous just the way you are. The King of Kings loves you with his whole heart and considers you a daughter which makes you a true princess in the kingdom of heaven. I pray that you will all begin to see your beauty through the eyes of our Lord and Saviour instead of through they eyes of the world because that will transform the way that you view yourself. While the world may tear apart your self esteem and try to bring you down just remember to take a step back and listen to the whisper of your heavenly father telling you that you are beautiful and that you are loved far more than you will ever be able to fathom.

Please check out this video:
I love you guys, Keep shining his light!

"Beauty in the flesh attracts the wandering lust of the eye, but the beauty from within takes hold of the thoughts from within the conscious heart and brings forth the truth."

Friday, March 26, 2010

Do all things joyfully and out of love

Sometimes i look back on the times where i was forced to kind of "grow up" in hurry, with regret. But other times i realize that God put me in those situations for a reason. When my dad and step mom got divorced i cooked and cleaned and did the laundry. I did the grocery shopping and brought my little sister to arabic school on saturdays and it wasn't always fun but i did it out of love for my family. Right now i'm laying on the living room floor. I'd been laying on the couch upstairs so i'd be able to hear my dad if he needed anything downstairs but everytime he moved, or inhaled deeply, or moaned i'd rush downstairs afraid that something was wrong. I realized that i wasn't going to get any rest that way so i brought my blanket and pillow downstairs. I love my dad and the rest of my family and i realize that i may not ever get the chance to witness to them, and if i do it may not be anytime soon. But there are things i can do. I can love them, and serve them, and sacrafice for them. I can do everything joyfully and out of love as if i'm doing it for Christ. I can do my best to reflect God's love for them, even if i can't talk to them about it right now.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Reach Out

My dad had quad bypass open heart surgery on tuesday night. It scared me to death. What if he didnt make it??? See my dad's muslim and if I lost him without ever having been able to share the truth with him it would have broken my heart. Its ignited a new sense of fervor in me. I got down on my knees that night and pleaded for my dad and my family in a whole new way. It brought the feeling of urgency to a whole new level. You never know what moment will be your last and we should be living with a passion and intensity that reflects that. Im emotionally and physically drained, but spiritually i have a renewed fiery passion and I pray that God doesnt take this burden off my heart. I need to be reaching out

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Assignment that made me think....

In AP english we're studying Macbeth and theres a witches brew scene in there where the rythym of the play changes. We were assigned to write at least 10 lines in that same pattern about what was wrong with our world today and then put them into our own "hells broth pot" Now overlook the witches and hell references this assignment really got me thinking about all things wrong with out world today. Here's what I came up with:
VH1 and MTV
Constantly we hear and see
Sex we use to fill a void
Shame and guilt and lives destroyed
Earthquakes shake and fear inspire
Things on Earth have grown quite dire
Hearts are swayed and feet do stray
Lies leave hearts in disarray
Words that hurt and wrists that bleed
Life goes on we pay no heed
For our dear worlds hope to grow
To the pot this all must go

So what things do you see in our world that need to change? Ghandi once said "you must be the change you wish to see in the world" and i agree 100%. If you dont like it, do something to change it. Agree about the MTV? Theres a petition at battlecry.com. Donate to the earthquake victims, Don't judge those who make mistakes, show love to those around you. Be Christ to those that surround you because for some of them the only Christ they'll ever see is the evidence of him in your life. Keep livin in out :)

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Don't be afraid

We all have things in our lives that scare us. We worry that we can't handle them and we're afraid of how things will turn out. Those are the times when it's so important to remember that we don't have to go at it alone. God is always right there with us.

Psalm 112:7
He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:13
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

So when you're stressing out, afraid or worried just remember that God is always there for you. He's as close as a silent thought or whisper and he'll never let you down. Turn to him in prayer if you feel like its not worth praying about then its probably not worth worrying about ;) Love you all, God bless!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

To Save A Life

The new Indie move "To Save A Life" is changing lives! I've seen it four times now, each time with a different group of people that i really wanted to see it. I've watched the expressions of my confirmation girls and listened to what they had to say after after saying that it was the best movie they'd ever seen they said that it really changed how they saw things and a girl who had come with some of the girls from my class is now a FORMER athiest. Praise God! I've also heard from some of my High school friends that this movie has really made them step back and reevaluate their lives, and their faiths. I've talked with still other kids who had grown up in the church but never really believed and say that this shed a totally new light on God and what it means to be a Christian. God is using this movie and if you haven't seen it I strongly suggest you do :)

Saturday, March 6, 2010

a HEART of worship

Main Entry: 1wor·ship
Pronunciation: \ˈwər-shəp also ˈwȯr-\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English worshipe worthiness, respect, reverence paid to a divine being, from Old English weorthscipe worthiness, respect, from weorth worthy, worth + -scipe -ship
Date: before 12th century

1 chiefly British : a person of importance —used as a title for various officials (as magistrates and some mayors)
2 : reverence offered a divine being or supernatural power; also : an act of expressing such reverence
3 : a form of religious practice with its creed and ritual
4 : extravagant respect or admiration for or devotion to an object of esteem

5. a feeling of profound love and admiration

So what is worship really? Well before we go there i just want you to read a few verses and really think about them for a moment:
Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

Genesis 1:1
1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

Luke 12:7
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

God created us. He created the world and not only the world but the entire universe and everything in it. He know our hearts, he knows our every thought. He has seen every tear we have ever cried and he Loves us more then we could ever comprehend. So now back to worship, to worship means to attribute worth to something or someone. God doesn't really need us to tell him that he is worthy; he is whether we choose to attribute that worth to him or not, but when you think of the amazing things that our Lord has done, of his ultimate sacrafice, of how much he loves us and all the things that are in store for those that love him how could we not worship him? We are so unworthy of his love and he is more than worthy of our complete adoration. Worship isn't a style of music or an act you put on for the people around you. Music is a wonderful way to express to God how much you love him, but thats not all it is. Worship should be a lifestyle... everything we do should point to God and attribute worth to him. Every year i go to this conference called Acquire the Fire and every year it amazes me to see hundreds of kids lost in worship and i say lost in the sense of them being completely oblivious to the people around them, not caring what anyone thinks, getting down on their knees, raising their hands, closing their eyes, and literally crying out to God. Our generation is suffering, dragged into the church is on sunday mentality we're falling away from the truth and I can't help but wonder what would change if we simply lived a life of worship. If on sundays we sang along and truly meant it...and then didn't stop. If we listened to the Holy Spirits calling and reached out to those around us and loved them as Christ loves us. We can worship God in everything we do and thats how we should try to live... With a true heart of worship

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

You can see God in anything.....

Have you ever had a thought that turned into an analogy when you thought about it longer? It happened to me about two o'clock this morning. It's not the best analogy but without all my devotionals and such, reminders while Im at my dad's house are a blessing. So here's the story, I'd been in a small car accident (nothing serious) and a piece of my fender had fallen off and the bulb for my right hand turn signal and everything around it had been shattered. I drove around like this for a week or two but when i brought the car to my father's house he saw the damage and told me that I deserved better and he would fix it for me. He took it into the shop and it took a little time to track down the right pieces in the right color but it happened. A few days later he drove the car back with me in the passenger seat, he took it through the car wash and vaccumed it and it looks really nice again. It looks like new, it will still need oil changes, car washes, tire rotations and it will need to be filled with gas on a regular basis but its fixed.
I think that God, our heavenly father does the same for his children, he wants us to be happy and he wants us to have life and have it to the fullest. When we stray from the road that he has for us we get hurt and our relationship with him suffers. God calls us back to him and he can restore us fully, it takes time and the process is never done but he can heal all our hurts and pains if we're willing to let him have control. Once the process of restoring our relationship with him is started we have to keep being "refueled" by digging into his word, prayer and fellowship with other believers. But unlike a 300 dollar car repair God paid the ultimate price for our restorations and repairs; his son. Who knew that a simple car repair could remind me that God isn't finished with me and that If I turn to him he can restore me. I may make a wrong turn here and there but I'll never be completely lost because ultimately he's in control.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Tough Stuff

After sixth hour a few weeks ago, as I stood gazing into my locker trying to remember what exactly it was that I needed for my next hours Chem lab, a kid suddenly smashed into the locker next to mine and it startled me. But what happened next was even more startling. The kid who had pushed him shoved him to the floor and began throwing punches. The kid rolled out and began fighting back. Of course it was right at this moment as a crowd had begun to gather, no one was doing anything useful of course, that an announcement came over the intercom saying that we were going to have a lockdown drill. So a teacher comes around the corner to see the two boys, still fighting and tells them simply to cut it out and get to seperate classrooms for the drill and then walks away. I was confused by this response considering the blood coming from the one kids nose. So i moved on to my next hour class for the drill. Because you go to the nearest classroom once the drill actually begins there were some kids in my classroom who aren't actually a part of my class and during the drill i was saddened to hear every detail of the girls' conversation. I heard about the party, the drinking, the breakup, the rebound with his best friend and the pregnancy scare all in a matter or 12 minutes. What is our generation coming to? It's scary and all of these are real and prevalent issues for teenagers in our society. Within the same day I added to the list of problems that I saw facing my high school and our generation as a whole. I listened to a friend share about the thoughts they'd had about committing suicide and they're attempt to do so (Thank God that he has brought them through that and that they're doing much better) I saw a 7th grade girls wrists,scarred from cutting, (I didnt know her and she disappeared before I had the chance to catch her name or talk to her) and I listened to a group of Junior boys talk about chewing, and what drugs give the best high for cheap. God has called me to go into youth ministry and it pains me to think of the harsh realities that I am going to have to deal with. As for now I've resolved to do whatever I can to make an impact or at least raise awareness in our school about the problems that these kids are dealing with. In our school this process starts with a leadership group called S.L.A.M. Many of my friends and I were chosen last year to be a part of this group and we already talk to kids about Postponing Sexual Involvement we've tried to get involved with an organization called "To Write Love On Her Arms" that is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery . April is child abuse awareness month and we hope to do something at the school to raise awareness for that and maybe volunteer our time at one of the crisis centers in town. Our latest project however deals specifically with our school and our generation and it involves a movie called "To Save A Life". Its an Indie film that takes a good look at many of the issues facing our generation. The group is going opening weekend to raise awareness amongst ourselves and then spread the word about the movie throughout the school. There is a Christian theme in the movie and although the group is school sponsored and not specifically affiliated with any religion many members of the group are believers so for us this movies potential is double. It will raise awareness as well as provide opportunities for us to share our faiths. I've realized that Sometimes its important to take a step back and look at all the things that are wrong with our generation. Its really hard for me to admit that we are straying so far from what is right. I went through High school often times acting as if these issues were not prevalent in our community but that denial didnt make the problems disappear and it certainly didnt help in any way. So here's to my last 3 and a half months of impact at this school. I pray that God will give me and those around me the courage to stand up for what is right and impact this school in a way that so obviously points to God that we will not only see a restoration in our school but a revival in our school and community.
In Christ,

Monday, March 1, 2010

Getting back on track...

So its senior year and I decided that with college ahead this was the year to make sure that my relationship with God was growing. I'll admit I'd been slacking quite a bit. So i dove head first into Bible studies, helping teach confirmation and youth group and it was all great at first. But then i discovered something. Being so involved with church activities didnt equal a stronger relationship with God. In fact i let it distract me from him. I realized that its kind of a balancing act. Those times of fellowship are really good, I learn a ton from my different studies and the fellowship with other believers is such a blessing to me but if Im going to be so involved i need to make sure that Im taking the time for some one on one with God. So i got back on track with digging into God's word. I'd kind of started to slide in that area. I told myself that i spent time in his word every day of the week in my other activites so when i got home i could kinda put my feet up and relax, but boy was I wrong. As soon as i got away from spending that time with him i began to get so distracted by everything that that time just dwindled more and more. So I've started making sure that I set aside that time each night to devote to him. God's also layed another thing on my heart through conversations with the girls and our sharing hopes aspirations and dreams. Every girl dreams of her wedding day and finding that one guy that God has for her and I am no exception. So I've started keeping a journal again. I did it when I was younger but for a while i had stopped. This journal I keep is filled with letters to my future husband and the prayers that I pray for him each night. I dont write in it every night but I do it at least once a week. I do however make a point of praying for my future husband in the morning when I wake up and at night before I go to sleep because I know that one day I'll love him with all my heart after God so why not start now? God is so good and I am so thankful that no matter how far I stray he will always draw me back into his loving embrace and show me how capable he is even in the midst of my tendency to be so terribly incapable. I hope that this has really made you reflect on what it means to have a relationship with Christ and that you have a blessed day.
In Christ,

So why exactly am I suddenly updating my blog?

I decided that if Im going to have this blog I may as well use it and use it in such a way that it brings glory and honor to God. At least that's my hope. So i started with some of my facebook notes and i hope to keep adding to my blog as the months go on and share the things that God is doing in my life and the many things that he lays on my heart. So enjoy I hope that God will use this in some way to further his kingdom

Bradley Hathaway :)

Like David, I wanna be a man after God's own heart. And I'm not there yet, but I'm past the start. And when people talk, I try to listen. A spirit of compassion, that's my vision. Surely I am a manly man. I want to be loved and have love and give love.

And not just that romantic kind either. Although I am looking for that beauty. Not helpless, but wants to be rescued. The damsel in distress, man, woman, myth, true. I will fight for her, climb the highest tower for her, love her, share with her, delight in her, be her warrior, her protector. She will be my crown and I will be hers. My masculinity will be passed down and affirmed to my sons. And each of my daughters will know they are lovely, and deserving of authentic romance.

Society tells me all day long that I've defined manhood completely wrong. But you ask any honest man, and he will agree. You ask any honest woman, and she too will see, that I am a manly man.

From: Manly Man

I Love this! and I am so blessed to have guy friends that remind me EVERY SINGLE DAY that guys like this are out there and that having a strong christian guy is worth the wait. So guys, you know who you are, thank you for being such Godly influences in my life.

So i dug out my CHIC notes....

Day 1
- We are not born as ordinary human beings. We are unique.
- Somewhere between our 1st and last breaths we lose the extra-ordinary essence of our being by living just an ordinary life
- Will my life really count?
- God places dreams and passions inside of us, but sometimes the rubble of our lives gets in the way
-If we made our dreams/passion our whole life would our world change?
-If we all had the courage to dream to change the world then we would find we had the courage to live out the dreams that God placed on our hearts.
-Live the dream God dreamed for you before you took your first breath.
-Don't let fear, doubt or lack of faith get in the way of the dream God has for you.
-There are things in our lives we can't do by ourselves, but there are also things that he has called us to do that he won't do for us
-Sometimes you have to jump and trust that God will catch you in mid-air

Day 2
-God has something for each of us
2 Corinthians 5:11-13
- Passionate people either scare us or create more passionate people
-What does it look like to be compelled by Christ?
1. We can't be compelled by Christ unless we truly know him/ spend time with him
2. Spend Time in Prayer
3. Spend time with others/fellowship
4. Am I talking about and living out of past faith experiences or am i building more? Is there progression in my faith?
5.Faith is something you do, not something you simply possess.
6. Touch the presence of God even if just for a moment and it will ruin everything else in comparison (thats a good thing!)
-Serving is simply loving others for their benefit not yours.
-Work w/o love is worthless
-Results in blessings for others and freedom for us
-Are you willing to put everything aside for the sake of Christ???

Shane Clayborne
-Kingdom isn't something we should look forward to its something that should be accomplished here on Earth
- " A lot of people tell stories like 'my life was messed up and then i met Jesus'... well for me it was pretty much the opposite. I pretty much had it all together and then i met Jesus and he MESSED ME UP. Im still recovering from my conversion."
-The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them away.
-We're made to live for God's kingdom and use our lives to see it realized here on Earth.
-Epic Fail "How are you preparing for the economic crisis?.... we're building 5 new jails." WRONG!
-God is anything but safe... But God is good
-Christians were never meant to be normal. We were meant to be holy troublemakers
-Life Overcomes death and love overcomes hatred

Day 3
- "If you have sex before marriage its not a 'test drive' Its carjacking! Someday that'll be someone else's spouse."
- 1 Samuel 14:1-7
-God's promise is always bigger then your perhaps
- "Love desires to please someone else at the expense of self because love wants to give."

Human (sex) Trafficking
-Fastest growing criminal industry in the world
-17,500 foreign nationals are trafficked annually into the US
- But the # within the country is even higher at 200,000.


I'm half Palestinian. My dad and his whole family are muslim. When i was little my dad was having an affair, he was and alcoholic and he abused my mom. We moved to Alexandria when i was 2 years old. My dad got visitation rights back when i was around 4 years old and we would have supervised visits with him once a week. he left for a while and went overseas and when he came back he brought back with him a step mom a step brother and a step sister who i grew to love dearly. They had another daughter, my little sister zain the same year that my mom got remarried to a really great christian guy. I started going to visit my dad in the cities on weekends and thats how its been since. In 8th grade, my dad was sentenced to a year in federal prison for tax fraud and health care fraud. A few months after he got out I told him that i was a christian and he didnt take it very well at first but eventually we kind of agreed to disagree. I pray every night that someday he'll come to know the Lord. A few months later my dad and step mom of 12 years got divorced. 6 months later my dad got remarried to my current step mom. I love both of my step moms and they've both played significant roles in my life and i pray for them also. Through everything the ups the downs and the times that I've just wanted to cry God has never let me down. He's always been there to comfort me and when i turn to him in my struggle i know that he'll give me peace. I think its so important for us to realize that as christians God never promised us that our lives would be easy, in fact he guarantees adversity, but he promises that we will never have to face it on our own. Thats my story. Whats yours? Post it in your notes and tag people to pass it on! :) Love you guys, God bless!

Some of you guys have known me for years and others of you I've just met recently, but whatever the case God has blessed me by surrounding me with friends like you. There have been a lot of things in my life that have made me ask God 'why?' 'why do these things keep happening, what good could possibly come of this?' and for a long time God didnt answer that, but in the past few years God has revealed to me through certain circumstances that the things that have happened in my life were not for my benefit neccesarily but for the benefit of those that I would come in contact with. Its like when someone is struggling with something, and someone says "I understand" but they know they don't they kinda shut them out but when you've dealt with similar situations that can sometime open up doors that wouldnt be open otherwise. Its like a passage in 2 Corinthians 1:4-7 "3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort." So if you're struggling with someone it may just end up being a huge blessing to someone who is dealing with something similar later on and no matter what trial you're up against, God is always right by your side

Plans for the future

So a few ppl have asked me what my plans are for next year, so here they are. I will be attending Gordon College in Wenham Massachusetts to major in Youth Ministry. I really feel like God has called me there. It was a really hard choice for me because i know i'll be so far away from home and the people I love. But when God tells you to do something you certainly don't argue. I one day hope to open a youth center. Im not sure where yet but Im sure that God will work all the details out in time or change my dream :) Im trusting him to guide me. For those of you have been supporting me and praying for me I love you and appreciate you. :) God Bless!

God's plan

So with college coming up and such I've been thinking a lot about God's will for me and for those around me and on top of that at FCA i know the idea of Divine Providence or God having a plan for lives has come up a couple times. How does free will work if God has a plan for our lives, or does God even have a plan for our lives? This topic is a hard one for us to understand. Personally i believe that God does have a will or plan for our lives and the free will comes into effect in the fact that we can choose to follow God's will or we can disregard it and follow our own paths. Feel free to disagree. I won't pretend to know all sorts of theological reasoning behind my belief that God directs our lives but i will point you to a few places in the Bible that make me believe so. Most of them are small references to plans or paths that God directs us on but these subtle yet very present hints make me believe that God does have a plan for each of us.

Job 23:10-11
"Yet he knows the way i have taken...My feet have followed his tracks; I have kept to his way and not turned aside."

Psalm 16:5
"...You hold my future."

Psalm 16:11
"...You reveal the path of life to me."

Psalm 23:3
"He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths."

Psalm 25:4
"Make your ways known to me, Lord; teach me your paths."

Psalm 25:12
"...He will show me the way i should choose."

Psalm 31:15
"The course of my life is in your power..."

Psalm 37:5
"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act,"

I'll keep adding to this list as i go through my devotions each night. Im going through a study about having a heart like King Davids right now. He was a man after God's own heart and as you can see just in the book of psalms alone there are many verses that seem to point to God having a plan for our lives. Just a thought. Take it or leave it. God bless you guys